Sacrifice
by artofsilence
Summary: So much has happened, so much will happen. Some things are never meant to stay the same, some things should never change. It's a little something called Life. [Spoilers for some Season 3 and 4 eps of the new series.]
1. Step One

Greetings ye reader

This is my first stab at TMNT fanfiction. It...was very much a spur of the moment writing. Just an idea I had and also to cover some things the new TMNT show seemed to rush too much of. Basically, the aftermath of tragedy that always seemed flat in the series. And it also helps I'm an angst whore. ("Lost Never Found" readers: I haven't abandoned that fic!)

BE FORWARNED:  
**Spoilers for some season 3 and 4 episodes of the new 2003 series are mentioned in this fanfic. For this chapter in particular, spoilers for the episode "Bad Day" found on the newest DVD release is mentioned. Do NOT read further if you don't want plot twists revealed.**

Basically, the idea for this story came about from the combination of the Season 4 preview from 4Kids, "Same as it Never Was" and "Bad Day." Some "Exodus" moments as well, I guess. I have no idea how the official plot will go on, but my imaginative mine made its own story up based on interesting bits mostly from these episodes and previews.

Lastly, how far I'll go with this story (continuing-wise and psychologically)... I'm not sure myself...

Disclaimer: I do not own "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" and all its related characters.. Mirage Studio does.

**

* * *

**

**+Sacrifice+**

**Step One **

"We've humoured you with your brooding, teenage angst, but enough is _enough!_" Raphael's roar echoed throughout the lair. If it weren't for the six inch steel walls, his voice would have carried throughout the sewers.

Even still, Master Splinter had yet to make his presence known. In another time he would have admonished his sons for lacking awareness to their surroundings, but in this case, focusing all their attention on the current storm would be prudent.

The storm with a thousand warnings that always only grazed their foundations until now.

He kept to the shadows to give his sons room and time to talk this through. Patience was something they needed to master. Their sensei wouldn't be around forever to stop serious fights before they happened. Even still, the old rat questioned if now was the time to start this old business. His most devoted student had almost gone rogue against his wishes all too often lately.

"What's the matter, Raph?" Leonardo's adopted gruff voice almost grated against his agitated brother's shell, "Can't take much of your own medicine?" He turned away from scrutinizing his two youngest brothers' for their apparent failure to keep themselves from almost getting killed. Luckily, their eldest brother averted that fate with his twin katanas, protecting them from enemy blades. But like Master Splinter, Leo knew he couldn't be there all the time if one of them managed to slip up.

The leader of the four brothers continued on, "You said yourself you're enjoying this side of me. After all you do it all the time. I think that takes you off the list of people who can question me."

Michelangelo and Donatello widened their eyes at Leo's antagonizing remark. Their blue banded brother knew he was pushing the buttons for an aversive reaction. Either he didn't care, or it was just what he wanted.

And that was the problem after all, wasn't it? Handling one hot-headed Raphael was a trying experience, handling two was nearly impossible.

Or is it a symptom of something deeper?

Raphael did his best to keep his rage in check, "Don't bring _me_ into this. _You're_ the one going crazy on everyone's asses."

"I am NOT over-reacting. They need to know, like you," Leo emphasized by pointing at his red-banded brother, "Every time we go up there… Hell, even at home, we are in potential danger. The attack by the Foot Mystics told us that much."

"I'm not questioning that!" Raphael countered. For long enough he had kept his rage in check, and in the days that passed, he even thought himself was becoming Leonardo and vice versa. It was odd, like looking into a mirror, only the reflection preferred blue. Seeing that reflection in his mind, the rage that worked him into the shouting match started to dissipate. "I'm not questioning you wanting to protect our family, Leo."

The leader of the pack didn't respond to that, neither did he show any other forms of reaction.

The silence had its moment in the spotlight until the uneasiness it left in its wake started to grate on the youngest turtle. Michelangelo gathered the composure he almost lost to Leo. He nudged his brother standing next to him.

Donatello glanced at Mikey, and was unsurprised to notice that his little brother lacked the sense of helplessness and guilt of what they were lectured on weighing on their shoulders. Leo may have been right about being more on guard to protect themselves, but it was an honest mistake. Any one of them could have been dropped on by a punk when the numbers were just too high on the enemy's side. Especially when that enemy were the Purple Dragons, trained and led by Hun. But a mistake is a mistake, one that they cannot afford in their line of work.

That was one of the reasons the turtle genius changed the frequencies on the shell cells after the Astral Plane incident. The devastating loop hole he overlooked had weighed much on his mind afterwards.

It was obvious to Mike that his brother wasn't going to speak up anytime soon, being the quiet one and all. But as the heated dialogue between Leo and Raph started to rise again, Mikey decided to let his voice be known, "C'mon Leo, we get it. We know it. It was a mistake and we won't make it again—"

"That's right you won't be making it." The harsh tone of Leo's voice was not lost on his brothers, "Extra hour of training from tomorrow morning on. For all of you."

Michelangelo was about to protest when Raph beat him to it, "Who died and made you Splinter!"

Leo's eyes narrowed at Raph's poor choice of words, "No one did. And no one will as long as I have a say about it."

Still unknown to the turtles, the master rat continued to watch and hear. Splinter's heart constricted hearing his eldest son's words. The same hardness he felt when Leonardo told him that he would do whatever it takes to protect the family was engraved in his thoughts. It grew concrete after their experiences from what his sons aptly named, the "Bad Day."

"Look Leo," Mikey took a step forward, "we get it. But you're not helping any with your…'Raphing.'" Catching the red-banded turtle's snarl, the youngest merely grinned and shrugged it off, but it failed to lighten the mood of the situation.

Nor Leo's mood. He had had enough. They didn't understand. How serious it was and how dangerous the world is, how fragile trust is, and the choices that are thrust into them that could force them to do things none ever though they would do. "Don't you all get it?"

Raphael crossed his arms waiting for Fearless Leader to sprout some hacked up leader speech. Mikey groaned openly though the underlying current of nervousness was still there. Donatello remained still and silent, very much a statue.

"I'm doing this to keep you all safe since none of you seem to be doing a good job of it!" Leonardo rested his shaking fists to his sides. "None of you understand the responsibility I hold. But it's something we all have to be equally burdened with to survive!"

"Hey!" The new spark in Raphael left a wave of heat emanating from his body, "We are doing exactly that: surviving. And after all we've been through I'd say we're doing a damn good job of it. You're too full of self-pity to realize that!"

"That's not what I saw out there tonight!" Leo poised an accusing finger at the two turtles in question.

Don slowly looked up to the finger, while Mike flinched back.

Despite what the situation was, Mike tried to keep an air of humour but it was getting too much. Even the orange-banded turtle had moments when enough was enough. The past two weeks saw a rise in the family's irritation. "Leo, you just have to chill. You're gonna wake Master Splinter up and—"

"We are through 'chilling', Mikey." Leo retorted icily.

Raphael did not like that tone of voice directed at his younger brother at all. "All because Karai stabbed _you _in the back after all the warnings—I mean, god, even after what Donny told us—doesn't mean _you_ have to take it out on _us_."

"This _isn't_ about Karai!"

The three turtles stared at their leader who held his stance firm. Truly, this whole matter wasn't about Karai. Not anymore. Leonardo had discovered how far they were willing to go on that ship Shredder used to attempt to return home. If that final choice the ultimately chose could be averted then he would use everything in his power to prevent sacrifice. That became his mantra every night.

"Then what is this about, Leo?" Out of frustration, out of curiosity, Raphael goaded the turtle on, "And don't give me that bull about it being about _us_ because it's not! It's way beyond that."

With footsteps as silent as the eye of a storm, Leo marched right up to Raph, "I think it's a concept well beyond your grasp, _Raphael._"

And that was the alarm going off.

Raphael shoved Leo back, growling in fury, "Try me."

"Uh, guys…" Mike stepped up to play referee, but not without looking over his shoulder to Donatello who still had refused to budge.

Ignoring their younger brother's feeble plea, the two males running for alpha position continued to square off. However, instead of yelling back, Leo's voice remained utterly calm, "Out of all of you, I thought you'd like the new me, Raph. Being assertive, taking up the fight before being provoked into one by surprise."

"If you're twistin' your problems into something I've created then you're asking, _just asking_ for a beating, aren't you?" The crack of Raph's knuckles made Mikey cringe.

Leo shook his head in disgust, "Always acting before thinking, before understanding what your action will cost you. You have no idea what it means to sacrifice—"

"Don't assume."

"What?" Leo was caught off guard by Don's sudden need to speak. He was silent throughout the lecture and the fight between him and Raphael. Even Splinter's ears perked at the addition of a voice too long silent.

Ignoring the eyes upon him and staring straight at the blue-banded mutant, Donatello clarified his statement, steady and calm. "Don't assume that we don't know. If you think that we don't' _get it_, then _you_ don't get that we _do_ understand the reality of our choices."

Leo couldn't help but take that as a decrying remark against his judgement. The tech of the family was a pacifist by nature. How could he possibly understand the necessity to fight and give all of yourself to save your own family? "You of all people, Donatello, have the least to say about knowing sacrifice. Hiding in your lab, behind your gadgets and slacking off on your training—"

"Don't presume I know nothing of sacrifice, Leonardo." Surprising even him, Don's voice lowered to a level none of his brothers heard before. However, he remembered it being the second time he had used it. "You have no idea…"

"Of what? Face it Donny, you've sacrificed _toys_ but you'll never understand the feeling of sending family off to battle—"

The hand that clenched to his side found its mark on Leo's right cheek in a speed no one expected from the quiet turtle.

Leonardo landed hard on his back, his cheek resting in the palm of his hand. The taste of metallic blood alerted him that he had bit the inside of his cheek from the impact. His mouth was opened but no sound coming through as he was as dumbstruck as his brothers at what just transpired.

"That is enough!"

All four turtles snapped their necks to the source of the command. Master Splinter finally made his presence known and stepped under the over-hanging light. The taps of his walking stick echoed in the living room area. Still, none of his sons spoke a word for the longest time. Mike and Raph were glued to their places by the shock, forgetting to see if Leo needed help up. Splinter closed his eyes, hearing the wrong words that were directed at the wrong brother again in his head.

He opened them in time to see Leonardo turned away from his master and stared at the ground beside him. How long had his sensei been standing there, accusing his brothers of something they had to be aware all their lives? To see how the frustration had got to him?

To know that it took a punch to knock him out of his high-horse, self-pitying pedestal?

They expected Splinter to continue, to bark punishments, but it was a horrified Donatello's voice that broke the awkward serenity, "Master… Leo… I…"

Donatello's eyes darted from the fallen turtle to Splinter, then to the rest of his family. For mere seconds that felt like a millennia, he made eye contact with each over and over until finally he turned and ran.

Their brother had been long out of sight and into the haven of his room when Mikey finally spoke a variation of what was on all their minds, "Whoa…"

* * *

I hope I haven't been too OOC with these characters. If some of them do seem too out there, I hope that future installments (assuming I get to them) will be good explainations. The second chapter is actually complete (couldn't stop typing) so will be added soon. Be warned that time settings may shift chapter to chapter. 

For some dribble: While I was watching "Bad Day" , it could be my bias towards Don talking, but it felt like Donny was suffering the most out of all of them. Fearing for Mikey's safety, his cry after Casey's van blows up, distraught that his invention had supposedly led their deadly enemy right to them...and I found it particularly chilling that Shredder called to Donny by name. I instantly thought back to SAINW. And that's all I'll say for now. Don't want to tell everything :evil grin:

Leave a review if you like,  
-Art of Silence


	2. Step Two

Can't believe I received such positive reviews for this...

It is a shock since I am no expert on the TMNT universe. In all honesty, I really don't have a definitive idea on how this story will progress, if it'll be coherent or not or plot hole-infested. Currently I'm writing these as sort of single entries, but some continuity involved. So I do apologize if it doesn't end up to your expectations as it very well might. I just felt like writing something new, and TMNT has become my victim.

Also: though I have no idea how season 4 will go (despite having some speculations), the plot for this fic is based on what I've watched up to now in terms of episodes and previews. Once more new episodes have aired, I'm sure this fic will be WAY off tangent. Though, I'll try to add bits and pieces as eps air into the fic if it helps.

Disclaimer: TMNT and all its related characters belong to Mirage Studios (I hope that's right...).

NOTE: Any time shifts mentioned in the beginning of chapters is relative to the first chapter.So, for example: This chapter takes place approx. fives months prior to chapter one.

**

* * *

Step Two**

**Five months before****  
**

"Come in, my son." Splinter gestured for the summoned turtle to kneel on the cushion before him. Flames of the candles made the shadows in the room dance to their silent melody.

Slowly, Donatello kneeled down in front of his master, knowing why he was in this room of calm.

"Donatello, do you know why I have called you here?" Splinter gently asked.

The turtle swore the rat had the ability to read minds, "I think so, Sensei."

Splinter waited for his son to elaborate on that note, but when none came, he resisted in letting out a deep sigh. Something was troubling his young son since the incident with Ultimate Draco. It was obvious to him that his students had gone through various degrees of elation and trauma through their experiences.

Michelangelo had only recently stopped apologizing to Splinter for effectively taking the evil version of him down while in his adventure. He was, of course, all too eager to describe the cool factor of being superheroes with respect and admiration from the human populace. But he held a firm stance that, if the price was losing someone in his family to gain that dream, then it was not worth it at all. Though it was obvious Mikey was happy to have at least felt what it would be like.

Raphael was one Splinter considered most fortunate. Though he didn't say it in front of his brothers where Leo was present, in the privacy of Splinter's room, the usually hot-headed turtle was almost serene in his description. For the first time in his life, Raph had genuinely put honour before winning above all else. It also deepened his recreational love for speed and even asked Donny if he could tweak the cycle's limits for extra velocity. In effect, the whole experience had allowed him to blow off some steam he forgot he had bottled for much too long. But that didn't mean he would stop being the most aggressive of the four.

Leonardo had the initial trouble of getting over the idea that he felt the entire ordeal was his entire fault somehow. Of course the others had denied him of this self injustice. He felt he should have been stronger to pull his brothers back to him from their dimensions, but his brothers reassured him that he indeed reached them. If it weren't from the interference of Ultimate Draco, there was no doubt in his brothers', or Splinter's minds that he would have reunified them. In any case, there was a pleasant aspect to his adventure. Meeting Usagi again was wonderful. The world he visited and its ways, where he seemed to perfectly fit in made him realize there is a world out there that would wholeheartedly accept his values and his family.

Donatello, however, was very concise with his experience compared to the vivid descriptions his other brothers would paint for their family. Just from the brief talk, Splinter could tell there was more than what he heard that went on in that distopian nightmare. Though in privacy between the two he had opened up more details, it was still a mystery.

A world ruled with the iron claw of the Shredder and many more worlds that were soon to be his. Donny described his future brothers as being "different" and didn't specify just how. Though he faintly smiled when he did explain one thing. Raphael tried to keep a growling face, though it was the opposite of what he was thinking inside. He hugging Donny like a teddy bear was not something he wanted in his reputation, in the open at least.

Friends were lost, enemies becoming allies, and the separation of their family was the tale of the story. Hearing Don's visit of Master Splinter's grave sent chills down the turtles' spines. Leonardo found himself crestfallen when Don told of Karai's allegiance to the Shredder to the bitter end.

Then, Don ended it with four words that did not do the story justice, "We fought. We won."

His brothers didn't believe that that was all there was to it. In such a hellish world where the stakes were against them, it couldn't have been that simple. Splinter thought the same and couldn't shake off the feeling that his intellectual son was grazed by the blade of guilt. As if winning the battle was the worst outcome of all.

It was Mike who was first to hug his brother, saying that that would never happen. "For one thing," the young turtle said while an arm around his brainac's shoulders, "we're back together right now, right? So that future is mute!"

Leonardo and Raphael joined in making the gloom float away, and Donny played along. That seed of worry was still there, along with the guilt. Mikey hugged Don again, and then Leo encircled both his arms around the two. Raph eventually joined them, though still trying to look "manly" about it.

Splinter looked on with pride of his family's bond, but he could see through the pile of turtles that Donatello's eyes still held sadness before he blanketed it with a smile. And it was the reason behind the guilt that Splinter wanted to understand.

It had been one week passed since the incident and he finally called his son to get to the root of the problem. Too many times, the old rat spotted Don awake in the middle of the night on his way for midnight tea. Sometimes they'd meet in the kitchen, or Splinter could hear fiddling of one machine or another from behind the purple-banded ninja's door. It was clear nightmares were the factor.

He needed to be patient with him, "My son, Donatello, you seem to be preoccupied with something."

The turtle did not meet his master's eyes, "There's just this invention I'm having a hard time to find the root problem with."

Splinter could see a lie ten miles away, "Donatello. I do not tolerate the fabrication of truth. I have taught you and your brothers better then that."

Head dipping lower, Don responded with a defeated, "I'm sorry, Master Splinter."

No, this was not how he intended this to be. The old rat decided a more direct method would be the best course of action. It was obvious that unless questioned directly, the scientific turtle would continue to skirt around the issue. "Let me ask this, my son. It is obvious that you were distraught by your experience of the future. Why do you not share this with your family? It may help to alleviate such feelings."

A specified question was laid out for him, and Donatello had a choice. He could try to work around the topic though it was unlikely to succeed. He could outright lie to his father, but this was too intimate to do something like that to him. It would be like stomping on the concern that Splinter was generously giving. The problem was Don didn't know how to start. But he let his brain go, and let his heart take centre stage.

Splinter waited patiently, as two, three minutes elapsed.

Inhaling and exhaling deeply, Donatello opened his mouth, "I'm afraid that…you'll all hate me."

The old master was expecting the worst, but he did not expect that answer. "Hate you, Donatello? Why would you think such a thing?" He resisted the urge to touch his son. On the shoulder, arm, or cheek, just any physical contact that his fatherly instincts commanded.

"I thought it was the obvious choice at the time…" Donatello almost seemed distant, as if he was talking to a voice in his head, trying to give a good reason to convince himself. "But now I realize, I forced them to do something they didn't want to get involved in anymore…"

Confusion reared its head and stared at Splinter. "Donatello, are you speaking of your future brothers?"

Wearily, Don nodded. Even speaking about the ordeal was trying him, "I've sent them to their deaths, Master Splinter. I was too full of myself to think that we'd have a happily ever after ending… I shouldn't have—"

This time, Splinter couldn't hold back the paternal instinct. He stood and crouched before his almost weeping son, and cupped the flushed cheeks with his own paws. "My son, why do you believe so?"

Don tried to take comfort from the warmth his mentor was providing him. His voice dropped to a strained whisper. "I… The future, it was too much. The despair, the death…seeing your grave was the last straw, father."

Splinter's eyes pained at the affectionate use of that word. Only a few occasions would his sons call him directly with that term of endearment.

"When I saw your cane, seeing Mikey so unfeeling and mutilated, Leo being so bitter and angry, Raph becoming softer and gentle below that gritty exterior than I ever imagined he could be…" Holding back the sobs, Don continued on, "Casey was dead, April trying her damnest to keep the hope alive but killing her slowly inside... Our homes... so many friends gone…"

Then it dawned on the rat on where this was going. Under such trials, it was a frame of mind he knew only too well. "You wanted vengeance."

Donatello opened his eyes he didn't realize were sealed and looked up to his father, fearing to see disappointment. What he found instead was empathic understanding.

"You wanted revenge at whatever cost," Splinter continued softly.

The turtle heaved a sigh, "I, I thought I was doing it for justice. To right all the wrongs made and eliminate the threat. But it was vengeance in its purist form. I even sunk low enough to work with Hun and Stockman. And in the heat of battle…"

The Battle. Splinter braced his son's shoulders harder, as if being afraid he would collapse right then and there. "You've watched your brothers go down, one by one."

Donatello nodded. "They didn't want to go through with it at first, but I gave them this hope that all would be better in the end. How wrong I was…"

"But you did, my son. You said before that they had lost the will to face the Shredder again. Until you came and rallied them. Hope came back to them." The master couldn't help but let a bit of pride seep through in his words.

"It's not…" Don tried to find the words but it was becoming increasingly more difficult, "I chose vengeance over family, Sensei. Even if it was all about doing the right thing, I've chosen to sacrifice my family for the sake of justice. _My_ version of justice." The tears he was holding back could not be contained any longer. "I _killed_ them…"

Without hesitation, Splinter wrapped his arms around his sobbing boy. At that moment, he was holding the toddler who quietly approached his room in the middle of the night after a nightmare, eyes so pleading to be allowed to sleep next to him in bed—wanting the comfort of his father's warmth and sturdy presence. "You did no such thing, my son."

"You weren't there…" It was a statement, not accusation nor resentment. Donatello started to shut down his emotions though Splinter tried to soothe him away from that course of action. "It felt like I touched Darkness itself, Master Splinter…

"The moment I saw Michelangelo struck down, something snapped. I forgot about my surroundings; my world contained only me and Shredder. I didn't even react when Karai took out Leo and Raph.

"I just wanted it all to end."

It was Splinter's turn to sigh. The source of Donatello's woes was much deeper, much more traumatic than he realized. A pacifist wanting blood was a dramatic transformation. But the waves of unwarranted guilt that he manifested meant that he desired to quench that bloodlust. "Do not feel ashamed or guilt, Donatello. In under such stressful circumstances, no one can blame you for your course of action."

Then, the weary rat continued to soothe his son, rubbing the back of his shell, and voice almost hushed to a whisper. "Though your brothers of your present may not understand he full extent of your emotional turmoil, I do understand that the turtles you were with in the future are much your brothers as your present ones.

"But I do not want you to forget that you have sacrificed yourself too, Donatello."

The purple-banded turtle looked up in bewilderment. Had his Sensei been paying attention? "No Master Splinter, I was greedy. I wanted—"

Splinter took his son's hands in his, "You sacrificed the part of yourself that makes you who you are, Donatello. Perhaps you do not realize it, perhaps this is delayed shock. For that moment in the battle field, you lost your love for peace. But the guilt you have demanded on yourself tells me that you wholeheartedly want it back. And it will come to you." Faintly smiling, the master squeezed the trembling hands in his paws, "The fact that they fell apart without you, Donatello, even before my untimely demise says so much."

Donatello frantically shook his head, "But we'd fall apart if ANY of us were gone."

Gathering his strength, Splinter closed his eyes to collect himself, and then looked straight into Don's eyes, forcing the other to remain eye contact. "That is true, Donatello. We all contribute something special to the group that make us whole and strong. But you must acknowledge you _do_ have something to contribute. Do not think your worth is lower than the rest of us."

Though he couldn't tear his eyes away from his father, he could not shake the feeling of failure twisting that gaze into scrutiny. "I don't get why. Out of all of us, I'm the worst fighter of the group, always the first to be knocked down, playing with stupid trinkets and bolts and—"

Splinter silenced him with a finger on the other's beak. He had enough of the self-deprecating talk from the son who provided so much everyday comfort to his family. "Michelangelo was not misguided when he told you that your level-headedness was of importance, Donatello. You four represent one being.

"You, Donatello, are the Head: wisdom, logic and reason guides as the light in troubled times. Michelangelo is the Heart: true and open to the gift that is life, both ill and beautiful. Raphael is the Soul: the charged emotional fire that drives you all, to move and act. Leonardo is the Body: who houses the three of you together, and protects you all in its secruity."

Donny quickly caught on to his master's thinking, and a faint whisper of a smile graced his lips, "And you're the Spirit that enriches us, Master Splinter."

"If that is how you wish to see me as, my son." Splinter modestly accepted the compliment. He was relieved to see the upward curve of lips.

But the smile on his son's face did not last long. "What you say is true. But if anything, I'm low on that ladder, Sensei. I had no right to force my brothers into a kamikaze mission. I—"

"Listen to me, Donatello," the strict father's tone made an appearance, "You have heard the expression, 'do not run like a chicken with its head cut off,' have you not?"

Confused on the change of topic, Don just nodded waiting patiently for his master to go on.

"All of us have something dear to contribute, and you must realize that although there is the Body to move us, the Soul to motivate us, the Heart to soothe us, but without the Head, there is chaos."

"But Master Splinter, you—"

Splinter silenced him with the raising of his hand, "I will not be around forever, Donatello. Nor will my influence be strong for such a length of time." Gently he tipped his son's chin towards him, "I would be devastated to know that one of my sons would never return to me or know that I must part with my beloved family. What good is a haunted Spirit in a time where a calm mind is needed to guide through the course of chaos?"

That was something Don didn't want to think about it, but forced to experience it first hand. It was a scenario he wished that would never come, but Time was a trickster like that; he had been its unwitting victim already. What would he do if Splinted passed on? He didn't know if he was more scared of the fact that he had no answer at all, or that it was prematurely answered.

"If you still feel guilt, my son, then let me at least tell you this. I forgive the course of action you were force to take though I believe there is nothing to forgive. I am proud of you, my son. In the face of adversity, you have come through. And it is my hope that, one day when I leave this plane, that you will help guide your brothers along in this life."

"But Leo—"

"Leonardo will lead as he always has... as he is compelled to do, but do not think that your silent affection for your brothers has gone unnoticed. With three passionate beings, the tranquility of passive Water is needed to soothe the scorches they can leave behind." Splinter relinquished his son from the embrace and looked him over to make sure the message has been understood.

"I… I guess I understand, Master Splinter." The words were there, but there was little strength behind them.

For now, that was all Splinter could ask for. For such a delicate matter, his son must heal at his own pace. "Contemplate, but do not let these dark thoughts rule you." Slowly he pulled the turtle up, "Now go to your brothers. Talk to them if you wish about your thoughts, or do not. But know that the day will come when you have to face them to let it go."

The look of something reminiscent of fear on his son's face tore the old rat's heart.

"In your own time, Donatello. In your own time."

Reluctantly nodding, taking that as a promise that the conversation made in these walls for the walls and the two occupant's ears alone. Don bowed his departure and left the room, quietly shutting the door behind him.

Splinter returned to the mat kneeled for meditations. The revelation Donatello had brought before him needed much thought. His mind wandered back to his analogy of water. More than ever the wise master knew his prodigal son was Water, not Leonardo. Leonardo belonged to the formidable Wind while Raphael to Fire and Michelangelo to Earth.

The element of Water. Indeed, beneath the calm, passive ripples of its surface, deep in its bellows there is a point where even the light of the sun cannot reach, where Darkness rules supreme

* * *

Did I mention I'm a Don fan:) Reason this chapter was late to post when already written? Was working on ch.3. It's not finished but getting there. 

I'd just like to take a moment to thank: **Pi90katana, shannon, Husk, Amberli Raven, BubblyShell22, Sakura117us, Chibi Lauryn, pacphys, eldarsenvenstar **and **Aries Zodiac** for your reviews. Thank you for reviewing the first chapter which is always hardest to turn into an eye capture. I know my summary is too vague and surprised many people clicked on it...XD

Special thanks to **pacphys** for adding my story to your C2. It is an honour indeed coming from a talented writer as yourself. I've read most of your works (still many to read my way through!) and I find every one I've read a real treat. Though I lack reviews...I end up just sputter-typing "AwEsOmE!" instead of something worthwhile... Better to wait for the right words in my case.

Again, thank you to you readers,  
-Art of Silence


	3. Step Three

Again, I saw "wow" because I never expected such positive reviews. My depth of TMNT knowledge is lacking at best, knowing mostly the basics so I know I'll have some mistakes. For one thing, spelling the turtle's nicknames. I always thought of "Donnie" instead of "Donny" but I was browsing the ninjaturtles dot com site and, in "The King" episode review, I think they used the spelling of "Donny" so I stuck with that for this fic. Plus goes nicely with "Mikey" :)

I missed "Sons of the Silent Age" due to baseball...CURSE YOU BASEBALL! er...ehem. But yeah, I guess I was...partially right about the root of Leo's angst? Though I think there is more to it then what he described...or what I read from spoilers of this ep.

Just to clarify, though I'll try to consider cannon info as the new eps air, I'm still gonna try and stick to the original, sketched out plot I had at the time I conceived it. So... I guess this is an AU piece :) Speaking of which, I have no idea of temporal passage in the TMNT2003 universe.

Anyways, Ch.3 takes place chronologically after Ch.1 Also this chapter is so obviously not beta read XP

* * *

**Step Three**

_**Today**_

Splinter was not happy at all.

Leonardo and Raphael kneeled in front of their master, both on edge at what just transpired. Neither had ever in the entire lives had seen their placid Donny lash out like that. Raph's mind began to wander into an idea that all these years setting an example as the brute of the family may have rubbed off more than he realized.

The bruise showing its colours on his cheek would remind Leo for days of that punch. He felt like an alarm had set off with that hit. He was still haunted to be the unshakable foundation to his family, but the physical manifestation of his harsh approach made him be aware that it may be a little too destructive. But it was a necessary evil. Absently he reached over his shoulder to the missing piece of shell.

A very necessary evil.

Splinter finally settled down on his knees. His voice was even, though there was a trace of fatigue. It would be up to his sons to realize if he was tired from interrupted sleep, or from the same old game played over and over. "Do you know why you are here?"

"Yes, Sensei." Both turtles announced in chorus.

"Do you know what I am going to say?"

"Yes, Sensei." Again they answered together.

Even when faced with punishment, Splinter observed these two were very much alike—which also meant both were much too stubborn. He was, quite frankly, getting too old for this kind of childish reprimand. So this time he tried a different approach, "Then there is little to talk about on this matter."

Leo looked up at his master. The strict teacher was still there, yet it was not being acted upon. That was not a good sign.

"That's it?" Raph thought he misheard Splinter, but when nothing else left the rat's lips he couldn't help but feel they were in a lot more serious trouble that he realized. But then, he didn't even know exactly why he was in trouble. The fight wasn't any different from previous ones when it was between him and Leo.

Splinter's whisker's twitched and his ears perked as if he was insulted by the question. "Did you expect more, Raphael? Because I have certainly expected more from you two."

"I'm sorry, Sensei," Leo started, though humility seemed lost in his gruff voice, "It was my fault that our fight escalated. I was only trying to—"

The master did not let him finish, "You know what you did wrong. Do well to think about the possible outcomes to your surroundings when you two decide to fight again in the future. You may go." Splinter closed his eyes, missing the wide-eyed faces of his pupils. He did not mean to ignore them, but it may be the method to instigate critical thinking of consequences for young turtles.

Moments passing, the teacher's ears picked up the sound of rustling, two figures standing up and heading for the door. He should let them go to contemplate, and to contemplate on his own. However, although the superficial Raphael-Leonardo conflict may have been addressed, the root cause for the latest conflict was not. Splinter inwardly sighed. He could either wait until his most dedicated student decided to come to him for counsel, or the more probable scenario, Leo would feel the burden was on him and him alone.

Fortunately for Leo, Splinter wanted to at least try. "Raphael, tell Donatello to come to my room when he is ready. Leonardo, a word with you."

Raph looked over his shoulder to glimpse of his master before departing, but all he got was a view of Leo's eyes looking onto his from behind. He could feel frustration rolling off of his blue-banded brother, something that was constantly present nowadays. Eventually he cut eye contact and stepped out the door, heading for Don's room.

Leo turned back to his Sensei and kneeled on the same mat as before, "Yes, Master Splinter.

The old rat studied his student, hoping to find something soft behind the hardened exterior. For a moment while he witnessed the argument earlier, he thought he had a glimpse of Leonardo's real intention and feelings. There was only one way to test his hypothesis, "Since our victory over the Shredder, you have changed, my son. I am beginning to think I have come to an understanding of that change."

There was no response from the turtle. His eyes were cast down as if ashamed of what the master had discovered.

Splinter continued on, "Do you think that a soldier is the best answer to all our problems? That a soldier is worth sacrificing a brother and son for?"

Leo looked up with a shrivelled brow. The phrasing rang true yet why did it sound deplorable hearing it from the outside? It wasn't his end goal, but if it meant that sacrifice to protect his family then it is well worth the cost. It's his role as leader, a protector. "Master Splinter, it is something that I must prepare myself for. We could have lost everything if not for intervention from the Utroms... No, we've already lost much. We don't even know if Leatherhead is still alive. Now, add to the fact Bishop is getting more aggressive and Hun turning the Purple Dragons into actual formidable combatants… I…We all must be prepared."

The master ninja did not like the aggressive tone, "We are as much prepared as we can be. There is always room for improvement, but we must take care to not let it be in the expense of family."

"Then it is not enough." Leonardo shook his head, unsatisfied with the sentimental reasoning. The cost far outweighed that kind method. How can there be a family to worry about when it can be wiped out by a wrong decision or a delayed reaction in their dangerous lives? "Sensei, the illusions we have experienced at the hands of the Foot Mystics were effective in manipulating us because the things we experienced could very well happen one day." He strained himself to not raise his voice, "We are much too vulnerable."

"I agree, Leonardo," the rat answered mildly. He let the tone from his disciple slide. "The dangers do seem to have intensified since returning home and we are more vulnerable than we thought."

"Then why do you question my approach, Sensei? We need to be pushed to improve—"

"My son," Splinter interrupted with a sigh, "do you not realize what truly transpired out there with your brothers?"

An almost confused look contorted the turtle's visage, "We always get into fights. It's nothing new."

Splinter shook his head; perhaps one must be on the outside to see what was going on in the inside. "I see you that you do not. Your sincerity in protecting your family is commendable, but in your thirst for control, you have lost sight of the very family you would die to defend."

Leonardo felt like the wind was knocked out of him. How could his master, his father, say that? The very reason he is taking this route was _because _of family. Always has been, only stronger now. "You don't understand, Sensei. I'm doing this for them, _for you_! It's not about control at all!"

Lowering his head as if to collect his thoughts, the old rat softened his composure, "Are you absolutely sure about that, Leonardo?"

The turtle's hands balled into fists, laying them securely on his lap. His body language equalled the strength in his next words, "I'm doing this for you all. There is no doubt in my mind about that."

The sincerity in his conviction left little doubt that Leo believed those words, but Master Splinter was worried if that belief was misplaced, "That bruise says otherwise, my son."

"This…" Leo touch the tender cheek, a part of him still thinking it was half a joke that Don had hit him. "This was a mistake. I see that I have to…be more cautious in my approach, but the message is still the same." He ignored the sting from the opened cut in his mouth.

Splinter stroked the tip of his beard, whiskers twitching this way and that. It was apparent that stubbornness increases with age—as he should know. As if his eldest son hasn't changed enough already, the past days had lead to an acceleration of whatever evolution Leo was taking. Too many nights Leo had gone off on his own in the middle of the night, often without telling anyone where he was going. Things were shifting, and it was not isolated to the turtle swordsman.

Donatello seemed more withdrawn than usual as of late, Michelangelo had avoided eye contact with the rat on more than one occasion. Stranger still, Raphael, who made a name in trouble-making, seemed the most content out of them all in comparison. Granted he may get agitated easily as ever, but there was nothing peculiar about his demeanour.

Perhaps their most recent skirmish with the Foot Mystics is what is causing the harmony of the four to shift. An old wound reopened as it were.

"Leonardo," Splinter waited until his son faced him directly, "if there is something bothering you, I am here to listen and give advice if you so desire." He resisted making it a command, reminiscing how easier it was to get away with it when his students were children.

"There is nothing the matter, Master Splinter," Leo replied evenly.

But his Sensei was not convinced. "If I may ask, my son, what do you hope to accomplish by going topside alone regularly?"

Leo paused, contemplating an answer that would satisfy Splinter though none seem to bring the cessation of twenty questions. And he did hate lying to his master, even in times when it may have been called for, so he motioned to tell one truth out of many. "Before it was just to be on my own and collect my thoughts. Nowadays, I think the night air helps me sleep better."

Splinter raised an eyebrow, "If you are having trouble sleeping, my son, there is some herbal tea and meditation that can help induce it." The case of insomnia could explain some of the turtle leader's behaviour.

"I've tried, Sensei. But I prefer to use my method."

It was clear Leo did not want to press any further, but Splinter would have none of it. He had been tolerant long enough. Sensing there was something the turtle was not mentioning, the rat fished it out, "Are dreams troubling you, Leonardo?"

oooooo

While Raph and Leo were called before Splinter, Mike made his way to Don's room. Something urged him to check on his older brother, seeing it likely that Donny wouldn't go to him or others so easily when in personal trouble. Something the brainiac and teacher's pet had in common.

Remembering the appalled look on his brother's face after the punch, he lightly knocked on the door as to not startle his brother. When no answer came, he tried the vocal approach, "Hey Donny? Can I come in?"

Not a ghost of a sound could be heard from the other side and Mikey began to wonder if Don snuck out of the lair or maybe asleep. He raised his hand to knock one more time when finally, a muffled voice answered, "Come on in, Mikey."

Michelangelo slipped into the room and notice that there was little to no light in the room, except for the faint glow of the computer screen. Faintly he could make out his brother's shape from the glow bouncing off him.

Don sat in front of the computer, hands poised over the keyboard but unmoving. Mike flipped on the light switch to illuminate the room before he walked closer to the other turtle. He noticed the computer screen displayed just the desktop, no typing program or window that would call for typing. Eyes shifting to read his brother's face, he noticed the purple mask rested around Don's neck. And with more looking, Mikey discovered panda eyes from the apparent lack of sleep. "Hey bro, you um…ok?"

Don didn't move for a long while, but eventually he slowly shook his head, "I can't believe I did that. I'll never understand how lashing out helps Raph calm down…"

Mikey smiled; Don was sounding like himself all right and talking back. For a long minute he thought he would get the silent treatment after being invited in. "Dude, he's had years of training that particular technique. Gotta admit, I didn't know you had it in ya. Good thing I didn't place a bet on Raph."

"It's not funny, Mikey," Don eyed the smirk from the corner of the younger turtle's eye, "What I did was wrong and… oh man I actually punched Leo. I can't believe it." He promptly followed that sigh with putting his face in his hands.

The youngest turtle tipped his head. "Aw c'mon, Donny, it's not the end of the world." Sure it was uncommon for his bigger brother to attack unprovoked—physically anyway—and seeing that sudden spark in Don was perplexing at best. It was kind of cool to see that his bro would dish out the first punch, but weird at the same time. Was everyone turning into a Raphael? "To tell the truth, I'm glad one of us got to shut Leo up. He's been really crabby lately…I mean even more so."

Donatello sighed and slipped on his mask over his eyes, "Maybe, but that's no excuse to punch him like that."

"Well, knocking Leo flat on his butt in front of _Master Splinter_ might not have been such a hot idea," Mikey joked with a grin. He pulled up a spare chair from the wall and rolled it next to his bro. Turning the chair around, he sat while resting his chin on his arms on the backrest of the chair.

Donny had to groan, "Thanks for reminding me. I don't know why Sensei hasn't berated me yet."

"Nah, this is your first offence. Raph and Leo? They could probably collect air miles for going into Splinter's so many times. I swear something real nasty is gonna happen between those two someday."

Months before, Don would have agreed with that statement, but a memory of the distant future swayed that opinion to the polar opposite. "I don't think it'll get that far, Mikey. Though…yeah, they could use some space from each other but…" Future Raph's call out for the fallen Leo echoed in his head, "They may get at each other's throats, but in the end, I have no doubt that those two love each other."

The smile he saw on his brother's face made him think what the inside joke was, but dwelling on Don's remark, Mike had to agree. There was always something there in that relationship that stood the test of hardship they created themselves. "Heh, yeah, guess you're right. At least it's entertaining," Mikey added with another playful smirk.

And that would leave Michelangelo and Donatello to have a bond, though neither could place a definitive word for it. Don was gracious enough to humour him most times, and Mike developed a sense of when not to bother his brother when he was working. The inventor wouldn't complain much if he was annoyed as he held back his frustration with his active sibling most of the time. Mikey thought it best to just let him have his quiet time, a sort of thanks for putting up with him. The orange-banded turtle knew he could be annoying to his brothers—that was half the fun after all.

Don would overwork numerous times. The most recent notable being when he was searching for the cure to Quarry and the others down underground. Remembering the bags under Donny's eyes just before, Mike assumed that he must be working on something new, and probably important, "The guys'll probably be in there for a while. Why not catch a snooze before Sensei calls you? You look pretty tired."

At the mention of sleep, Donny inadvertently yawned. He almost cringed at giving himself blatantly away, "Is it that obvious?"

"Well, yeah," Mikey answered with a shrug, "Besides the yawn, those dark rings under your eyes gave it away. And I thought I was the only one having trouble getting some shut eye."

Don blinked, "You too?"

"Yo, Donny!"

Raphael hollered behind the door, not bothering to knock but not imposing another's privacy either.

"You bellowed?" Don answered.

Raph took the response as an invitation and stepped inside, "Splinter wants to see ya."

"Already?" The surprise in Mikey's voice matched Don's look, "He let you guys off easy?"

The oldest sibling in the room shrugged, "Guess he got tired of nagging at us." He walked in towards the other two and opted to just lean on the computer desk. His own version of a mischievous smirk that looked menacing no matter the subject matter splashed his beak, "Gotta say Donny, that was one mean right hook."

"At least some of us enjoyed it." Don's sarcasm only served to fuel Raph's smirk to grow wider. Shaking his head at his hot-headed brother's obvious amusement, Don stood up and headed for the door. He stopped at the doorway, turning to the two left in his room, "Can't believe I actually hit Leo… I'm not going to live this down for a while, am I?"

"Hell no." Raphael responded with energy to rival Mikey's.

Don rolled his eyes, "Figures."

As he watched his brother's retreating figure, the question that was on Raph's mind was nagging for release. "Hey Donny, you ok?"

Don stopped and turned his head over his shoulder. It was a surprise question considering the source. "Uh, yeah. Just got up on the wrong side of bed, I guess." With a shrug, he left for Splinter's room.

Raph turned to his younger brother, "Now there's an understatement."

Mikey nodded in agreement.

Donatello's guilt had set the punch incident on repeat in his head. Sooner or later, he'd have to face Leonardo and apologize, even though the blue-banded turtle had gone out of line on his part too. _"Two wrongs do not make a right,"_ Splinter always said.

Oh right, Splinter.

The genius rubbed his face. Half of him expected his master's punishments he would give to Raph or Leo when fights escalate into physical outbursts, a kind of procedure. The other half honestly didn't know how the rat would react. After all, even Don himself didn't know how to deal with the actions he never thought he'd use on his family.

"One failure at a time, Donny," he muttered to himself as he stopped in front of Splinter's door. First he'll deal with Sensei's punishments, and then he can get to apologizing to Leo. One step at a— "Leo!"

Leonardo opened the door before Don had a chance to grip the handle. He wasn't exactly sure what his face looked like at the moment, but Donny's looked like the classic "deer caught in headlights" look.

In their own ways, the two were not expecting to meet each other so soon, and would have likely been dragged on unless a third party named Splinter intervened. But here they were, fate wanting a bit of amusement from their uncomfortable meeting.

Staring at each other was not something Don wanted to do, and with the tension mounting, he blurted whatever was floating in his currently absent-minded head with eyes cast down, "Leo, I… um… I'm… I'm sorry for hitting you! I don't know what came over me and I really shouldn't have done that but it was just so spontaneous and I guess I wasn't thinking at all…well obviously I wasn't to do something like that and I won't do it again—"

"Don," Leo called out softly through the rambling but the other didn't stop. Sighing, he gently but firmly squeezed his brother's shoulder and put a little bit of force into his tone, "Donny, calm down."

That finally put a cork on the paler turtle's beak. Eventually Don raised his vision to see Leo, and was caught off guard by what greeted him. Though the average person wouldn't notice it, the Fearless Leader was wearing the faintest of smiles. It wasn't much, but compared to the constant grimace he seemed to sport nowadays, it was a good sign.

"I should be the one apologizing, Donny," Leo continued, "I shouldn't have gone off on you like that. My frustration got the better of me."

Don managed to have a sheepish grin of his own, relieved to hear his brother wasn't angry at him. Well, he hoped everything was truly forgiven and not all for show. Leo wouldn't do that, right? "But Leo, whatever you say, I shouldn't have hit you. Not against words…"

"It's all right. Tumbling with Raph all the time has given me a thicker set of skin. Don't worry." Leo's faint smile didn't falter.

From staring at the smile too long, Don noticed the large purple bruise on Leo's cheek. Ouch. "You, um, should have some ice on that before it gets anymore swollen. I'll go get you some."

The hand still on Donny's shoulder prevented him from turning around. The touch and pressure was nothing aggressive, rather reminiscent of how Leo gave reassurance to his brothers in times of worry. Don had to return the smile; it was comforting to know that his leader and brother hadn't lost some gentleness in his change.

"I'll get that icepack. Master Splinter is waiting for you." One pat and Leo walked around his brother and walked towards the kitchen for those ice cubes.

Feeling some weight off his shoulders, Donatello entered into his master's room.

"Donatello," Splinter gestured for the turtle to sit.

Before the old teacher opened his mouth again, Donatello's anxiousness got the better of him, "Master Splinter, I apologize for my actions back there. I don't know what came over me and oh man, I can't believe I hit Leo and in front of everyone too! Not that I'd hit him, or anyone, if there was no one around but—"

"Enough, Donatello. I accept your apology, as Leo seems to have accepted yours." Splinter almost chuckled at the expression of "how?" was written all over his son's face. "These ears have instincts of their own; they cannot help but hear as we cannot help but breathe. But, for the subject at hand, I can see that you are sincerely sorry for your action."

The turtle nodded frantically. He felt like a five year old again.

Splinter continued on, "I have considered what you have confided in me in the past. Am I correct to assume Leonardo's words had personally cut deep to elicit such response?"

Rubbing the back of his neck, Donny was hesitant to answer, "I guess so… I mean, it's not his fault exactly since I've never talked to him about what happened in the future fight with the Shredder. Not that...I walked right up to them and talked to the rest of the guys." Don tried not to notice the look of impatience on his master's face. He had months to tell his brothers after all. "I thought I didn't need to as the nightmares waned. But… But recently…"

He waited for his son to continue, but Splinter decided to coax him since he did not, "What is it?"

"I guess… I guess I was more agitated because I've been having the dreams again...sorta."

Splinter raised a bushy eyebrow, using the correct pronunciation, "Sort of?"

Donatello nodded though unable to describe the dreams even to himself, "It's the same, yet different."

oooooo

The click of Master Splinter's door shutting after Donatello entered echoed to the kitchen. Hearing the secured sound, Leonardo popped his head out of the open archway of the kitchen and scanned the lair. There was no one in sight. He hadn't bothered to put ice on his cheek, or even attempt to.

With one final scan of his home, Leo walked out down towards the lair's exit.

Leo, close to the exit, failed to hear another click of a door, this time, a door that was opening. Mikey and Raph emerged from Don's room thinking of maybe sparring to let the hot-headed turtle lose extra steam. They saw the tip of a blue head band slip through the lair door.

"Looks like another nightly run." Mikey suggested.

Raph kept his eyes on the exit, arms crossed, "Yeah." Without an excuse, Raphael headed for the latch door too.

"Hey I thought we have a match!"

"We'll do it when I get back."

If tonight was any indication, Michelangelo thought that Raph and Leo alone together with unresolved issues was the last thing that should be happening, "Um, Leo probably wants to be alone you know…"

"Definitely." Not bothering to turn to his brother to answer, Raph left the lair.

Mikey sighed and decided to spend the night in front of the TV on the comfy couch with a bag of chips.

And maybe have the first aid kit ready at an arm's reach.

* * *

This was rushed, especially my half-assed proofreading part. I'm going to attend a new school this week and it will demand a significant amount of my time. Hence, I wanted this out before the first day of class. Also there's the Teen Titans fic that I want to continue so updates for this story will slow down. 

**pacphys:** If you'd like to beta read these and upcoming chapters, I wouldn't mind at all. Actually, I'm delighted that you offered :) I'm just all shy with my stories and will often go "OMG THIS SO STUPID PLOTZ SCREW IT" every time. Add the fact I have little faith in my writing skills and I'm not a pretty author. And I've checked out the site you recommended. I might be joining up someday when I have actually something worth contributing XP

A big thank you too all the reviewers. It is a joy to read them and the encouragement really helps :)

Since the update will likely be delayed, I'll just hint that next chapter will take place in the SAINW future. A sort of missing scene I guess.

-Art of Silence

**Added um...5min after uploading:**Forgot to mention, Don is my fave turtle, and it'll be obvious that I am biased towards him. But I'm not going to neglect the other three :) So no worries about that folks. When I write fanfiction, I usually end up writing almost equally for all the main characters in a show, with my fave character a smidge ahead.

And about the "prodigal/prodical" thing: You're right. Actually, I thought I typed it a couple of times and I found one of them at the first proofreading but couldn't for the life of me find the 2nd so I just said "forget it!" and uploaded anyways. I found too late the meaning behind "prodical." Aside from being close in spelling to "prodigy", I think it was watching too much Digimon years ago that made me think it was a good word. You know, Izzy kept on spewing "Prodigious!" a lot when something good happened. Moral of the story? Know your words before you use them.


End file.
